FATIGUE

coba deh, if only you can have a short chance, just a slight chance, untuk duduk diem ga mikir apa2, ga inget deadline apa2, ga ngerjain apa2... just to think. mau sampai kapan kayak gini? ritme hidup seperti ini? is this what you called a life? bangun, kantor, pulang, tidur. mau sampai kapan???

sepenting apa sih yang dikerjain sampe harus ngalahin badan sendiri? keluarga sendiri? hati sendiri?

good luck ya. mudah2an selamat, dan berumur panjang.

what do u want?

i want to live a simple life. i want to be loved. i want to love the right person. i want to get married. i want to go home and meet people i love and do simple stuff : dinner, watching tv, chatting, cooking, washing dishes, doing laundry, clean up. i want to be called mommy. i want to be a wife. i want to be called honey or babe. i want to be pretty. i want to be smart. i want to be humble. i want to have my own family. i want to have a husband whom i can be proud of.

i want to be me few times back, in love with you few times back. i start to think that the gap is becoming way too big now...

i want to live a simple life, full of love.

maybe it's me after all...

this morning, i suddenly realized something. maybe it's not you who have the doubts, but it's me. i doubt you, i doubt us, i doubt our future, i doubt everything. is it because i'm structured minded? perhaps... but probably coz i lost something that happened to be one of the main factors i always fell in love with you.

i lost the sense of safety being near you. many unanswered questions. should be okay, but it just bothered me who always required answers for every questions i ever asked. not to mention my biggest question mark, how do we survive all the economics ups and downs in our home? it takes two to tango, it's better when two brings the bacon home.

so after all, it was me who have the doubt... and keep this being postponed to be a dream come true... please forgive me... for doubt you and crazy about you at the same time. please just remember that my analytical score is only 5 from 0 to 100 range.

what do you say honey? shall we keep it a wonderful dream or just make it come true?